 8/31/2006 | Bloggy blog blog blog Got my new domain: http://lovesasha.net. There's nothing there yet :) I had some problems with getting hosting (the hosting company I signed up for didn't set up my @$%! account... so I switched to a new one, and all is good for now!) I'm going to State College on Saturday for the first football game of the season and don't know when I'll be back. But this is a holiday weekend, so I will hopefully have time to work on my website. In other nerdy news, I'm actually now a registered member of slashdot. Mat came over last night and we made dinner together... aww :) Vodka pasta and salad. Gotta love the vodka sauce. We also played Scrabble. we spent some quality time together being nerdy :) I feel like it's really late at night right now, but it's just 10:30PM. I'm tired. I think I'll work from home tomorrow. There was a water main break and the road from they highway to my office was closed. Traffic was backed up for miles and miles. gah. The kind of traffic where you can see everyone freaking out b/c they're late for work, and there is much cussing as other drivers and flipping the middle finger. Philly drivers are not known for being polite. I'm just as bad as everyone else though, so I can't complain (though I did NOT give anyone the finger).... and HA! I'm writing about traffic in my blog! Who seriously gives an eff.... It must be bedtime :) // posted by Sasha @ 8/31/2006 10:00:00 PM 1 comments 
8/29/2006 | oh dearie me This is my 37th post. I originally created this as a private blog where I could just send my whinings out into cyberspace (and so that I can look back and tell what I was thinking at certain points in my life). I kind of like it, soooo I bought hosting/a domain tonight !! Haha. Now I can throw myself wholly into my nerdiness, without having people I actually know witness my decline into super happy website girl. I just need to wait for everything to finish getting set up, then I will be putting it up! Isn't it funny how I'm on a computer ALL DAY at work, then after I come home and chill, I'm back online again. We had some bad storms today, and I was hoping we would lose power so that I'd be forced to give myself a break! (in all fairness, I was largely computer-free all last week). I'm trying to decide whether to use Wordpress. Wordpress is nice, and I can make customized hacks, so I think I will stick with it. But Blogger is so nostalgic! It was my first real blogging tool, wayyyyy back in '99. Those were the days when everyone was using Grey Matter, and I was sooo jealous because my (free isp) hosting didn't support it. I've been a blogger for a long time. *_* I've been having internet connection problems and it's driving me crazy. I'm on shitty wireless right now, and my connection keeps fizling, so I keep refreshing pages a million times. Hopefully this posts! // posted by Sasha @ 8/29/2006 11:33:00 PM 2 comments
8/28/2006 | :/ gutted! For the first time in my life, I'm not going "back to school" with everyone else. How depressing. I have to work. For the rest of my life. Gah!!!!!!!!!!!! OK ok, I am technically still going to school. I'm getting my master's in IT and taking two classes (Software Engineering and an Algorithms class). But, I'm also working full time, so I have work and class. I'm in for some loooooooooooooooooooong days ahead. I already know that Thursday will be a 12+ hour day. Hopefully I'll have some downtime at work, and can study when I don't have anything to do.  Sometimes, I question my career choice. The job I originally accepted was as a Systems Engineer for a different part of my company. It paid a LOT. More than I make now (about $5,000 more). But, because of the state of things (*cough*IraqWar*cough*) there wasn't a lot of new work coming in, and they didn't have actual work for us new hires to do. I would have had to do a temporary assignment - meaning a 10% (temporary?) raise, all living/food/transportation expenses paid, in sunny San Jose, CA.Yes. I could have been on the beach right now, living it up. Instead, I got myself into a Leadership Development Program where I go to conferences, grad school (they pay UPFRONT! no tuition cap! at a good/expensive university), and do rotations in my job. It's a pretty good way to climb up the ladder more quickly, and also a way to ensure that I will be getting my Master's instead of putting it off (or taking 6 years). Plus, I have this pesky grant from the state that requires me to work and live in PA for each year I got it (3) or I'll have to pay it back....... yeah. Many times I wish I was basking on the beach in sunny CA instead of putting in what I've been warned will become 50-60 hour weeks of work & school. Like now. I want to go on vacation! I was all ready to start my new domain! Then, I realized that classes start this week, so I have less time. Then, little bro moves back to college (and I acquire the brothers' old room, which is huge). Nice! But I have to decorate. Even less time. (and i've been putting together ideas, but still don't really love anything) Then, the first PSU Football game is this weekend! I hate football, but going to games is fun. Tailgating is fun. Getting drunk and screaming along with 110,000 fans? Also fun! (you can hear the noise from miles away, it's amazing) So, this eats up my weekend (along with decorating and painting.) In all probability? I'll make my new website in spite of all this. Procrastination is what I do best. // posted by Sasha @ 8/28/2006 10:04:00 PM 3 comments
8/26/2006 | time to nerd it up! I'm thinking about getting a domain for this blog! And making an entire website. I already have one, but everyone I know reads that. A whole new domain though! With a new layout, whee. Which I will not show anyone I know (so I won't be inhibited, and can post whatever I want w/o being embarassed). I can have my blog, pages about me, my art (because I hate showing to people I actually know!), free layouts, a page like Dress Kevin (how cool is that?), recipes, book reviews, knitting patterns, etc etc etc. I'm such a dork. But seriously, who doesn't love a good project? I'll probably put the other one on haitus (although, I will lose all my readers :( ) // posted by Sasha @ 8/26/2006 04:00:00 PM 2 comments
8/25/2006 | home again, again. drama time! I ended up skipping the thing on Wednesday night! Ha, I'm lame, I know, but it sounded lame anyways. I skipped dinner, too! and hermited it up in my room. It was so relaxing. I ended up going to bed early (10:30PM! it's early for me, I usually fall asleep around 1AM) Thursday turned out to be not so bad :) Actually, really fun! My functional group (13 of us) had a party in our manager's suite. Everyone in our group is young (21-26?) and our manager has kids our age, so it's an interesting dynamic. Then we went to someone's room and drank, went to someone else's room and drank, went to my room and drank, left the booze there, and went to the bar to sing kareoke (periodically going up to my room to refill on cheap booze). Do you see the theme?? See??? I can have fun, after all, and be social! It's just getting out there that bothers me. I don't like to go "socialize" with people. I have so much trouble getting motivated to go. But when I'm there, after the initial awkwardness, I'm usually fine and have fun. Well, I think I got Mat pissed off at me. Before we went to the bar, I talked to him briefly on the phone and said that we were going to the bar to do kareoke. Later in the evening I came back up with one of my group members. While I was in the bathroom, he answered my phone, which I think pissed him off. I talked to Mat, he seemed ok, then went back down. When I came back up after the bar closed, I had 4 missed calls. very annoying. I think he may be jealous?? Sometimes he gets paranoid that I will cheat on him. He sometimes makes inappropriate cracks about this that are not funny. This annoys me to no end, and actually sometimes make me wish I could!! Does he want me to cheat on him?? It's like he's trying making this an issue when it's not. It's annoying. And honestly, it makes me wish that I could at least try the single life again (which in turn makes me feel scummy. i'm such an asshole. the conference was filled with 500 people with good jobs and who had been extensively background-checked. more than half were male. it is heaven for single people.) This is why I fight with him! ha. In one of my classes, we did something about personalities (instead of the standard Myers-Briggs, it was based around four character types: Analyzer, Stabalizer, Controller, Persuader). We were supposed to analyze a co-worker we had trouble communicating with, but I analyzed Mat instead. It seems like we are too similar! He definitely has a stabalizer personality, and so do I - at work. But when I'm with him, I feel like I'm much more agressive because I get annoyed with him being so passive. Is it that I dislike(in him) the things I dislike about myself? Who knows. I'm over it now. So is he (I think!) He asked me how I would feel if a girl answered my phone. Honestly, I probably wouldn't care that much (which makes me wonder... should I care more??? I'm not really a jealous person that way). I don' t think he would cheat on me. And, being 100% honest, if he did then I would at least know that we weren't meant to be (it would be upsetting, but in a way, a relief that I wouldn't have to make up my mind. I sometimes feel like he likes me more than I like him. Or he is more sure of it, anyways). But he knew I was hanging out with people ahead of time, he could hear them in the background. *sigh* // posted by Sasha @ 8/25/2006 10:35:00 PM 2 comments
8/23/2006 | See Sasha whine. Whine, Sasha, whine. I've been at a conference in DC all week. ARRGH!! I'm going CRAZY here!!!!!!! I'm so incredibly sick of being around people 100% of the time. It's like freshman orientation at college, but lasting all week instead of a day. Every detail of the day is scheduled. We have classes, meetings, cafeteria meals, and "fun" events. I know we are supposed to get to know each other and bond and "network," but I haven't even really had any time to myself. This is the first real time I've had sit down for more than a few mintues and check email. I need time to myself to "recharge." Being around people all day makes me cranky! I'm tired. I want to rest. Right now, I'm in my room being antisocial. I haven't even bothered to go get dinner yet, because I want time to myself to relax a little or I will be very cranky indeed tonight. I think I may skip it entirely :) The food here is horrible, anyways. I hate the whole awkwardness of this prolonged social contact. The forced small talk. And the constant inquiries about my last name (yes, it is unusual and hard to pronounce. yes, it is Polish. I realize that only 1 of 10 letters is a vowel. Thanks for your witty insight!! see, I really am cranky ;) ) I just want to zone out a little and chill!! This is the whole being introverted thing. (i'm a INTJ in the Myers-Briggs test. Yes, I've been asked that this week!) I'm not shy or antisocial. I got up to go running with my team at 6AM Monday AND Tuesday! (Luckily I was not the only one walking!) Yesterday night, I got dragged to the bar and ended up closing it. It's not that I'm antisocial - I can have fun, but I just don't want to. I hate uncomfortable situations. I need a nap. How bad would it be if I skipped this whole thing and just went to bed now? We have another event tonight at 8, "food and fun." I really want to skip it, but I wonder if anyone would notice? I think I will go down and see what it is like, then leave right away :) The thing with so many people being here is that it's hard to find anyone I know (and then I just feel like a weirdo when I can't find anyone). YES, I realize that the whole point of this is to network and " make new friends," but really eveyone just hangs out with their friends. I feel weird and awkward and uncomfortable! Boo. // posted by Sasha @ 8/23/2006 05:31:00 PM 5 comments
8/22/2006 | Books Book Tag from Too_Lively: :) Note: I am drunk blogging. I started this post while sober, but want to finish it before signing off. Please forgive any stupid answers or typos: 1. One book that changed your life – I don't really know if any book really changed my life per se, though quite a few have made me look at life differently. I think that many Kay Gibbons books have helped me to understand where my grandmother is coming from, ie the role of women in the past (NOT PRESENT). 2. One book that you’ve read more than once – I read most books I like more than once. Children's books like Little House on the Prairie, Anne of Green Gables, Emily of New Moon, etc. I still like to read them (I know, lame, but I really do like kid's books! Especially old ones. And LM Montgomery doesn't really count as a children's author, anyways). Other things that makes my rounds regularly, largely because they're on my bookshelf - White Oleander, Memoirs of Geisha, Outlander, Sushi for Beginners, and many more that I cannot think of during this (drunk) moment. 3. One book you’d want on a desert island - A book about survival (makes senses) :) Then, sommething incredibly long, like a Jean Aeul Nature's Children box set or a Shakespeare anthology. 4. One book that made you laugh – Cheaper by the Dozen, by Frank & Ernestine Gilbreth, anything by Marian Keyes 5. One book that made you cry – Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons ;_; 6. One book that you wish had been written – one by me? I like to write, but I have trouble finding time and an environment where I can FOCUS. Also, I'll write a good amount, then decide that I hate the plot, change what I've written it, get a bit farther, do a lot of rewriting, etc. I have a hard time deciding what I like ( I also have a need for realism! Probably I'm so cynical, and try to write romances. It doesn't mix well. haha). Other than this egotistical answer, one about how to (REALLY) be rich/happy/wonderful? A guide to my life? A book of future winning lottery #'s (viewable only by ME)? 7. One book you wish had never been written – anything by Ann Coulter?? haha. Also, some books on relationships are BAD. I don't know if I would wish that they hadn't been written, though. 8. One book you’re currently reading – Ha, I'm not really reading much right now, since I'm not at home. Before I left I grabbed this month's copy of Reader's Digest, and Jonathon Livingston Seagull (which I found under my carpet right before I left and is about 3 weeks overdue at the library) 9. One book you’ve been meaning to read – So many! Lots of books about programming ( I never get around to it / it is not exactly much fun ). I also would like to reread The Grapes of Wrath and Anna Karenina. I read them when I was in middle school, and many parts probably went over my head. That's why I like to re-read books, you get a much deeper understanding of them, and you're able to get a better grasp the second time around. I am posting now so that I don't lose the post that I started. Sorry for the drunk blog (though hopefully it's entertaining!)!! // posted by Sasha @ 8/22/2006 06:01:00 PM 3 comments
8/20/2006 | Boo, Firefox. Hooray glasses! I had a post written, but Firefox crashed and it got lost :( When I was re-signing in, I inadvertantly signed up for Blogger beta (I think this means that people with Blogger profiles aren't automatically logged in when posting comments, or at least that's what the Internet tells me). When I get tired, I have difficulty seeing (hence why I accidentally switched to Blogger beta). My eyesight is 20/200. You know when you have to read the eyechart at the doctor's? That is the equivalent to not being able to see the eye chart (actually, 20/200 is being able to see the big E, so mine is actually worse than that). With contacts I can see 20/20 (and almost that with glasses), but my greatest fear is becoming blind. To an extent, I become bitter when reading books/watching movies. (Fake bitter, not real bitter :) does that even make sense to anyone? o_o) Castaway? Robinson Crusoe? I would have died within a couple days due to starvation, being eaten by cannibals, or being bonked on the head by a falling coconut which I totally didn't see. Historical fiction? ha. I would be "legally blind" back in the day without sufficient lens technology! Assholes. I have tons of respect for people who are actually blind. I don't think I could cope. Yes, so what was an original post about my life, is now a post about me not being able to fricken see anything. See Exhibit A (which I made for a class where we had a photoshop filters assignment):   This is a photo I took of the Queen's Hamlet at Versailles, France. Je l'adore :) I went shopping today. I think I regret one of my major purchases :( Why did I buy it? I can wear it exactly two places. I don't even think I can return it, though the checkout girl told me I could. why do i do these things. It's past 1:00AM. I have to pack for a business trip that will last Sunday-Friday (and I have to leave tomorrow at 10AM). I still haven't even fully upacked from my last one. It looks like my closet threw up all over my room. I hate all my clothes!! and how i look in them. Aaurrgh! And my shoes. and, my watch stopped today. I'm just overwhelmed by this mess! I want to crawl into bed and sleep and not even think about going. I'm nervous about this whole trip already :( I have to be around large groups of people all week, and I am getting roped in to going running every morning with my boss and my group at 6AM! He has been talking about this for the last month. Like any sane person, I assumed he was joking. I realized on Friday that he is dead serious!! I cannot tell you the last time I was awake at 6, unless it was because I had stayed up all night. I think I need to tell him how sadly mistaken he is that this will actually work! :P I don't think I will be posting much this week. I'll have to "socialize" with my coworkers, whom I haven't met yet. I hate being around other people all the time. This article describes me to a T - I am so introverted (though not shy ;) ) I want to be six years old again, when my biggest problem was what I should play next. Yeah, the original point of this post: to say that I hung out with Mat last night and tonight and things seem fine. I love him. Though some things do annoy me, I am not breaking up with him in the near future. // posted by Sasha @ 8/20/2006 12:02:00 AM 2 comments
8/17/2006 | Musings Thank you both for your comments! They do help, a lot. I think it's hard coming to realize the truth about love... I always imagined that this would be quite simple. ha ha. Yes, those people who say "you'll know" must be full of it. There is definitely not one right person out there. I live in
I only meant this entry to be five sentences, MAX. I have a verbosity problem (and overly long sentence problem). When I gave my grad school admission essay to my friend Emily (English minor) to proofread, she gleefully informed me that with a few changes, I could make it into one very long (but grammatically correct!) sentence. // posted by Sasha @ 8/17/2006 10:44:00 PM 3 comments
| Dementia II I'm supposed to go to dinner/movie tomorrow tonight (Thurs) with Mat. I haven't really gone on a "date" date in a long time with him. We'll see how it goes. Actually, I haven't been talking to him all that much lately. We used to talk every day. It got old. We had nothing to talk about, but he would insist we need to call each other (during which he would proceed to watch tv and not hear anything I said). So, for the past month or two I have stopped calling him altogether, and now we only talk once or twice a week. I have really been ignoring him lately, becasue he's been getting on my nerves. I don't know if I'm ready to "end it" yet though. I think I analyze it too much. I was all ready to a couple weeks ago (before I started the blog), but I really wanted to go to the PostSecret exhibit so we went, then it seemed weird to hang out and THEN break up, then we went back to his apt and as I was about to say it he started talking about how much our relationsip means to him, and blah blah blah. So of course I couldn't do it. Then, I changed my mind and haven't tried it again. I think, if I am not sure about this by now, I should probably just end it. Get it over with. But he really is my best friend :( I don't want to not be friends with him, but if I break up with him then that will be it. But if I don't, then I'm wasting my youth on a guy I will break up with, and will end up old and wrinkly and alone. I think I am coming to the realization that i do not want to marry him (or do I???). Everyone says that when you know, you know.. but I know sometimes, and don't know other times. Guess this means I really don't know, and should go through with it (not tomorrow though). I'm sure I'll be using this blog to analyze this later :( I never said I wasn't neurotic. Or demented. >< // posted by Sasha @ 8/17/2006 01:36:00 AM 2 comments
8/16/2006 | Dementia I After I graduated from college, I had a couple months where I was just lounging around doing nothing (was supposed to travel, but my friend backed out b/c she got a job and had to start right away, boo). So, I would help my neighbor Kim by attempting to keep her 6-month old baby (Kacee) from crying while she was working at home and talking on the phone. Kim's grandmother has dementia, and while her parents were on vacation for a week, the grandmother stayed with her. The grandmother is obsessed with photos of her family, which includes her grandson Zach. Like I said, she has dementia, so she isn't quite all there and would engage me in the same conversation every 5 minutes. Enter "the photo." "Look at my grandson Zach!" she proudly crowed, "isn't he handsome?" I looked at the photo she was waving in the air. Except, it wasn't a photo. It was a "Saved by the Bell" trading card of Zach Morris, which had his picture, the "Saved by the Bell" logo (little squiggly signs and all), and the name "Zach" emblazoned on the front. Then, Kim would storm into the room. "Grandma! That's not Zach, that's from a tv show! You got it out of a cereal box!" They would argue for awhile, then she would go back to work for awhile before the cycle repeated. Baby Kacee would clap her hands and giggle. // posted by Sasha @ 8/16/2006 11:17:00 PM 1 comments
8/15/2006 | Blabble blabble, look! Pictures! I never know what to say to the cleaning lady when she comes to empty the trash in my cube. It used to be some young kid who I would exchange pleasantries with, but now it's an old lady who takes forever and uses the time to ask awkward questions. I usually put my headphones on and pretend to be listening to music, ha. How lame am I. In my past jobs, we weren't even allowed to have personal trash cans b/c of security reasons, ha. enough with the nerdy talk. (I almost started talking about the new version of Blogger, thank god I stopped!) And, because pictures make things more interesting:  Look! I am growing a mango tree! Or, I will watch the seed sprout, plant it, then forget to water it and it will die. Or I will leave it outside and the cold weather will kill it. Either way, it's demise is inevitable. Note the backsplash that my mother made me paint in our kitchen, which was supposed to be "temporary," five years ago.   I also have been afflicted with a zit the size of Texas. I thought I was past this stage in life? No amount of concealer will cover it up :( When I lived in CO, my skin was perfect (look! pictoral evidence!). Perhaps it was the low humidity. Or the elevation, it gets blamed for lots of things. Yes, I actually posted a picture of my zit on the internet (actually, it doesn't look as bad after I made the picture smaller). behold a girl with no life!!!! wish I had something interesting to say, all I have are more things about work that I shouldn't post, which is OK. I will probably work from home tomorrow, and with the two hours saved in commuting I will do a little retail therapy! Little bro works at QVC, so I have to use his discount as many times as possible before his internship ends. QVC suprisingly has nice beauty products, like Smashbox, Mally, Tarte, and Philosophy, which I get a 30% discount on. woo. I never realized before that expensive beauty products really do make a different. Then I need some fierce outfits for my trip to VA next week. My goal: intimadate the future elite of my company! This may call for the 4 inch heels to make an appearance. // posted by Sasha @ 8/15/2006 10:38:00 PM 2 comments
| Yummy yummy in my tummy I had dinner last night (Monday) with Mat's family (his mom was there, and cooked). Tasty! I got pissed off at him b/c he wasn't there when I showed up (he said he was "stuck at the golf course." boo hoo.) But the evening was actually pleasant. Mat is in a weird situation b/c his dad lost his job a few months ago and could not find a new one in Pittsburgh (depressed city! he's from an old coal-mining town, that is also referred to as "Helltown"). He found one sort of near where Mat lives, so his dad lives with him durng the week.. kind of awkward! But he should be moving out soon. I don't really like Mat's dad. He's nice enough, but I don't think he makes very intelligent decisions and doesn't "get" things. Not that he's stupid, but just someone who doesn't "get" it. He is easily pushed around and believes easily what other people tell him. I feel kind of bad because he doesn't make much money (even though he's an engineer, I make a lot more just starting out of college). Mat once told me that the town where he grew up is not where his mom wanted to live. You see, Mat's dad (before Mat was born) his dad bought land for a house in a new subdivision without talking to his mom. No warning. Asshole! I would have flipped out right there. But apparently, "it was ok" because "Mat's grandfather said it was a good piece of land." Um yeah. I know Mat isn't like that, but it bothers me. I think maybe it's just the old-school Italian culture (actually, not that old-school). He has a grandmother that lives with his family at home, and another one just down the street. They cook and clean all day (and argue with each other about it). I had to teach him things like how to vaccuum and what toilet bowl cleaner was (and also why you shouldn't wear tube socks with shorts, though that was just a few weeks ago, oh dear lord) I made sauce tonight from tomatoes I picked over the weekend. Hundreds of tomatoes later, I am done! But it's worth it. See the things I learned from dating Mat?? haha // posted by Sasha @ 8/15/2006 12:06:00 AM 4 comments
8/14/2006 | Annoying things :( Ha, so I've been working for over a month. I have a "busywork" assignment to work on, and no one has even asked me about what I'm doing or checked up on me. Arrgh! I know I will miss this kind of thing when I have more important things to do, but still, annoying! Also annoying: my schedule for grad school in the fall. I never had an algorithims class (thanks, Penn State!) so they were going to make me take a prerequisite... it worked out so that I can take one as an elective, but my tuition has already been paid and now it's all fucked up. Euurgh. Gotta talk to my boss about this tomorrow, since the algorithims class is at a different university... // posted by Sasha @ 8/14/2006 11:52:00 PM 4 comments
8/13/2006 | Alive I'm finally done with moving. Gah. It's sad to be done with a big chapter of your life. I loved college, and I will never be back there as an undergrad again. It will never be the same again. At least 90% of the study body does not live in our college town for the summer - State College, PA is a town made up mostly of college students (not many "regular" adults or professors live downtown). Downtown, you will find crappy apartment buildings (there are 40,000 students at our campus), restaurants, bars, and some stores. Everything caters to students. Student life is... well, maybe a bit crazier than at your average university. Every summer, there is an annual Festival of the Arts. Many students come back, not for the purpose of looking at art (maybe that's just me, haha), but to party. I let my little bro stay in my apartment for "Arts Fest" this summer. (I didn't go this year). Usually, he is quite conscientious, and since he would not be partying there, I didn't think there would be a problem. Yeah, you can see where this is going. He left a bunch of dirty cups filled with some combination of genadine syrup and alcohol (probably Vladdy, ew) around, which I had to throw out. It looked like SOMEBODY vomitied in my bathroom, and missed the toiled a little bit. there was pizza on the wall. I also found a note from my neighbor, Ben, who apparently found my keys left in the door (he nicely locked the apartment and held them until my brother picked them up). argh, little bro!!!!!!! (if you have ever seen "The Real World, Key West" my brother is a lot like Jon (who also went to PSU). he's pretty typical of psu students). The mess really wasn't as bad as it sounds, but still annoying (you would have at least thought he would throw away the note from Ben!). Now I have something to hold over his head (evil sister, I am) and will use it mercilessly so that I can stay at HIS appartment any time I come up for football games. To think, I used to be one of those people who didn't drink. I liked reading and school. When we first started college together, my friend Emily and I agreed that we just weren't the type of people who drank and partied a lot. (Beer was gross, and we detested arrogant frat boys). HA! A couple weeks later, I was partying like everyone else. Emily eventuallly joined a fraternity (ok, it was the Chemistry fraternity, but still!). Sometimes, you realize that you are more like everyone else than you first thought. // posted by Sasha @ 8/13/2006 02:58:00 PM 3 comments
| Whee OK GO has the sweetest video for the song "Here it Goes Again." Dancing. On treadmills. Normally, I find treadmills mind-numbingly boring, but this is really cool. // posted by Sasha @ 8/13/2006 02:24:00 PM 1 comments
8/12/2006 | the universe hates change Mat's little brother, Tony, got stung by a jellyfish at the shore. He was reluctant to go back into the water, but his friends convinced him that it wasn't likely to happen twice in a row. He got stung again almost immediately. This time, everyone agreed that he would definitely not get stung again and that he should go back in. After some convincing, he agreed. And guess what? He got stung, for the third time in less than an hour. My older brother recently got a nose job. He had broken his nose (not once, but twice) playing basketball. To fix the damage, they did a rhinoplasty. That was less than a month ago. He was playing basketball again on Tuesday, and lo and behold, it got broken - again. He he another nose job today. I feel as if I should be on the lookout for impending danger. The universe seems a bit cranky at the moment. What do I need to watch out for, though? Speeding tickets? (I've had some near-misses) Broken car? (my lil bro's broke this week, so I lent him mine and took a rental on my trip) also think my boss might want me to do Temporary Duty in DC for a few months (which I will just smoothly change the subject when he gets near bringing up). probably nothing will happen at all. I mean, how can anything exciting (good or bad) happen when I'm posting this on a Friday night? (I was going to go to sleep early, since I have to get up at the crack o' dawn, drive 3 hours, carry a bunch of shit down stairs, clean, move out, then drive back and unload the shit). There is a party to go to tomorrow night, but I doubt I'll be up for it. btw, I fixed my layout a tad bit. // posted by Sasha @ 8/12/2006 12:56:00 AM 2 comments
8/10/2006 | ohhh, ppl. why do i blog so much here? sometimes, I think I should tell some of my friends about this site. but then, everyone I know would be "all up in my bizz-nazz," which was kind of the point of not telling them in the first place. // posted by Sasha @ 8/10/2006 10:39:00 PM 7 comments
| Home again, home again, jiggity-jig. I'm home again. I like traveling for business, I barely have to work tomorrow because I put in a lot of hours traveling this past week. Yay! But, it's good to be back home, in my comfy bed. I actually socialized with my coworkers today - went out to lunch with 3 of the younger guys and another guy who also came down for the week. They're ok. One of them also has to go to our unit's orientation session in Orlando, I think he's going to go down when I go, and hang out with me and the other LDP's. Now that I'm back home, I can stop feeling so tall (my little brother is 6'6", for starters). The cubicle walls at the office were a little short, so my head would stick above them. I was taller than all of my coworkers, male and female. I'm not even that tall (not quite 5'10"). psht. I guess it's just the flashbacks from trying to shop in the juniors department in junior high, and all the pants were like 6 inches too short.  In shallow news, I really like this dress! But I cannot pay $450 for a stupid dress (and where do I wear dresses, really? I think I have one wedding to go to this fall, but everywhere else is jeans-territory. ) Mat's mom is visiting him this weekend. I really like his mom (and his entire family). They are very Italian (sicilian), and try to force-feed me excessive quantities of food, which I am happy to eat. Who can turn down vodka sauce or fried zucchini flowers??? Unfortunately, I won't be around this weekend to see her (or is it fortunately?) I'm moving out of my old aparment in State College, even though I haven't been living there all summer. Ahh, the memories. It's also a 3rd floor walkup, and I have furniture to carry down the stairs. Iiiiiiit's gonna suck! // posted by Sasha @ 8/10/2006 08:56:00 PM 2 comments
| GOALLLLL!!! I have never had Haagen-Dazs ice cream... until now. It really is good! I just ate about 800 calories worth. I have not worked out since Sunday. Looks like I'll be going on a loooong bike ride tomorrow night when I get back! I want to lose 5-10 lbs. It's not that I'm fat, but I'm not... skinny? I hate the way clothes fit me. When you're kind of tall, you naturally wear bigger sizes even if you're not fat. Unfortunately, many clothes designers don't seem to recognize this. Instead of making a shirt with wider shoulders and longer sleeves, they will just make the torso wider. Then, not only are clothes too narrow in the shoulders and too short, they're also too wide. If I lost a little weight, I could probably fit into the next size down and this wouldn't be so much of a problem. I guess this ws brought on by the clothes-shopping. Boo :( But this is tax-free week in the district. If you're in DC, it's tax-free August 5-13th! But whatever. We don't have sales tax on clothes in PA (I live next to the second biggest mall in America), and there is no sales tax on anything in Delaware - about 40 mins from my house. // posted by Sasha @ 8/10/2006 12:36:00 AM 0 comments
8/09/2006 | and Sasha gets off her lazy ass I actually did something today - I went shopping in Georgetown after work. I was going to go to Annandale (aka Koreatown) to look at all the cute Korean imports and get Korean food (I <3 Korean food) , but didn't feel like doing the traffic thing. Thus, to Georgetown! I didn't buy anything - I wanted to get a cute outfit at Zara for my conference in two weeks, but they must have recently changed their stock (or else their stock is different here) and it looked like the 80's threw up everywhere. I like skinny jeans and all, but I think we can all say no to such things as the bubble shirt (because women need clothes that will deliberately make them look fat) and sweatshirts cut off at the neck. I can't really be arsed to buy anything lately. I have a million clothes, it's not like I need any more. I passed by what looked like lots of Japanese shops in Rockville, but didn't even stop. I stopped at a grocery store on my way out of the district. beer in the grocery store! haha. being from PA, this impresses me. Talk to anyone from PA. We are all amazed by such trivialities o.O // posted by Sasha @ 8/09/2006 11:31:00 PM 2 comments
| stupid things we argue about Matteo and I have the stupidest arguments. He'll say something dumb or untrue just to piss me off, I swear!! He likes to make up things. He'll say - "well, X is true," and it won't be. then i'll go around thinking it's true and look stupid when I talk to other people about it. gah!!!!! I've learned not to accept what he has to say. Then there is the unnecessary advice Mat likes to give me. Like how I should fly to rack up the frequent flyer miles (Dear Mat, it takes much longer to fly to dc than it does to drive from Philly!) or where I should have stayed (yes Mat, I really should stay far away from my office so that it will take me hours to get to work in rush hour traffic!). Or where I should eat. Then, he proceeds to argue with me about these things... who the hell cares, anyways? My old notebook journal is filled with examples of this. Oy vey! Not that I am really one to talk. I am neurotic in my own Sasha-y way. Every so often I will decide that I should have a real paper journal instead of a blog. It'll work for a few days, but then I can't stand it when my handwriting gets messy and makes it look "ugly," so I give it up and go back to the blog. Plus, I'm pretty sure others would try to read them (I know other people can read this blog, but the "real people" I know don't know about it. and it will stay that way). CONFESSION: I once read someone else's diary - I was at an old friend's house (we had drifted apart years before) to wait for the fedex guy for her mom, who was at work. I was bored and I came across her diary. It was very boring :( It chronicled her trip through Germany and France (which SHOULD have been muy exciting, hot european men!) but was filled things like "the moon looks amazing tonight!" and "I called my mom today. I am excited to meet up with Nona and Pop-pop in England on Tuesday!" I was thoroughly disappointed. but maybe that is why I like to read other people's blog so much? // posted by Sasha @ 8/09/2006 12:48:00 AM 2 comments
8/08/2006 | who am i kidding I really miss living in Colorado. It's so easy to get around out West - all the roads run north/south east/west and are laid out like a grid. The huge mountains are always to the west, so it's nearly impossible to get lost. I miss the Rockies. When it was hot, I would just drive up to the mountains to paint and chill. The scenery is mind-boggling. I would have to pull over and stare. If you haven't been out west, go! Especially Rocky Mountain National Park - it's beautiful, you feel like you're in a National Geographic shoot. I also had a thing for breathing the mountain air. There is nothing like it on the east coast. I miss my friend Lana from Colorado. She is such a pure, honest, and beautiful person. She is one of those people who radiates pureness (but without the sickening part). We are both very shy/reserved, I can relate to her so well. // posted by Sasha @ 8/08/2006 07:49:00 PM 0 comments
| Tuesday, Tuesday right by me I have no graphic design software. Hence making a layout for this site is kind of challenging. Yeah, so here I am again, keeping myself entertained!! I accidentally ordered something for dinner that had meat in it (i'm a vegetarian). It should have been obvious, but I was a little trance-like from sitting through boring meetings all day and not thinking of the practicalities. I seriously considered eating it for a minute, but then shunned it after I looked up the ingredients. It's sitting on the counter, ready to be thrown away. I have not eaten meat for over 10 years. Eating it now would cause me to vomit, or to have, er, other digestion trouble. No thanks! I've done the vomiting thing by accidentally eating beef broth in a soup before. My roomate from last summer (crazy ADD sorority girl, used to work at Hooters. Man, do I pick 'em!) had a friend who was incarcerated in Arizona. In Arizona jails, they don't feel the prisoners meat. When he got out, he had "digestive troubles" for over a month straight because he started eating meat again. Stories like this scare me!!! Work is not fun. I have trouble staying awake in meetings! To be fair though, today some guy acutally did fall asleep ( I woke him up though. ha, the real world is just like school). The one guy who was always at the meetings I call into turns out to be deaf! He has a strange accent, and sounds like a hillbilly over the phone (but otherwise speaks well). Poor guy, getting mistaken for a hillbilly computer programmer. Watching the interpreter at meetings makes them slightly more interesting. My job also kind of sucks. I'm not doing real work yet (still working on my fake assignment), but it looks like I will be doing some testing soon. boo, kind of boring :( I work on a company-internal project, and our clients consist of other areas of our (very large) corporation. Since I work for a defense contractor, these projects are all really awesome ( I wish I worked on them instead! ) My internship last summer was flippin' SWEET (plus, I had friends there. friendssssss!) Oh well, I only have 5 more months to go on this assignment. Chin up! // posted by Sasha @ 8/08/2006 07:31:00 PM 0 comments
| Nasty. There is a bug in my hotel (are there more?????????) I saw one, it got away, then I saw it again. Ugh. I would complain, but it's 1AM, what are they going to do? I don't want it to smell like bug spray while I'm trying to sleep, nor do I want to repack everything and move. Don't wanna find another hotel either, so I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed that it was only one accidental bug. ASSHOLES. Why couldn't I be traveling somewhere cool, like Denver (my second home!), California, or London? Come on, I am writing code for people in London, I should go visit my clients. Gaithersburg/Rockville are too suburban. When I go to DC, I'm usually in Arlington . (hanging out with Mat and his gay friend-friend-of-the-family friend, Scott, whos in his 40's, plus Scott's flaming neighbor, Gary). Sounds weird, but tons of fun. I should call Scott and have dinner with him, but I only know him through Mat, I'm shy, and I would feel weird. So, I will be a loser instead :( Also, is it wrong to lie and say the scars on my leg are from rock climbing, when in reality, they are from cutting myself while shaving my legs (though the shaving was done in preparation of going rock climbing)? Ha, I write the longest sentences ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm grossed out. Also, I just ruined my 10-minute-old pedicure. ASSHOLES! ( too much Ze Frank? <3) I'm going to stop my posting influx and go to sleep... need my energy so that I don't fall asleep during all the meetings tomorrow! // posted by Sasha @ 8/08/2006 01:13:00 AM 0 comments
| Reality. I was very disappointed today when I met one of the guys I "work" with. His voice sounded so cool! I was thinking Indian-New York-Stockbroker type. With just a little arrogance, very confident, built, etc. Unfortunatley he was, how shall we say, nerdy looking (though I still think he could get a decent girl because he has a great voice). The only "hot" boy was the intern, who is leaving on Friday. Bad Sasha! I am, of course, the hottest girl on our team. This is not really a compliment to me, seeing as there are only two other (old, fat) women. But still. It's empowering knowing that you are the most attractive employee in the office! (maybe this is how I became so confident??) // posted by Sasha @ 8/08/2006 12:02:00 AM 0 comments
8/07/2006 | it changes So, the good news is that I've fixed the layout a bit so it's not so ugly. The bad news? I'm not done yet. Maybe tomorrow? I'm in Maryland/DC "on business." While this makes it sound like I have a slightly cool job (I get to travel "on business!"), it's really not so cool after all. My hotel suite is just ok (their cable channel doesn't have MTV, wtf. I'm never staying here again! ok, shallow, but true!) And, while being able to eat whatever I want "for free" is nice (yeah, so I've been grocery shopping for expensive food. Green tea pommegranate soda, anyone?? Imported french cookies?) , it's lonely. I am traveling again in two weeks to a leadership conference for work, but I don't think that will be so lonely. For one, I'll be with all the other LDP's in my program (LDP = people in the leadership development program), and other genres of LDP's. LDP's are, in general, outgoing type-a personalities. Lot of socializing is planned. Then I will meet up with a few of them again in September in Orlando, for an orientation. That should also be fun :) I had a really good convo with Mat tonight. Not sure if it's because we're getting on the same page now, or if it's because I'm lonely. We used to talk every night on the phone. It grew to be annoying (for me). I felt smothered - why did I need to talk to him every day, often multiple times a day, when we had nothing to talk about in the first place?? And the whole saying "I love you" thing all the time that led into the uncomfortable (on my side) "I love you more" "no, I love YOU more!" banter. gag me. I've never been an overly cheesy romantic person, and I feel resentful over that (dumb, but true). OK, I must get off the computer. I drove all morning, worked all afternoon, procured food, then went online again to fix up my blog. I spend WAY too much time on computers *_* // posted by Sasha @ 8/07/2006 11:19:00 PM 0 comments
8/06/2006 | to dye for I'm dying my hair again. I've had this color hair since October, but I think it makes me look ditzy. At least 10 people I've met at work have asked me if I'm in a sorority... not that there is anything wrong with being in a sorority, but I kind of want to give a better first impression. Besides, the dye is killing my hair anyways - hello, split ends. So, I'm going back to my normal color (which I a shade or two darker). I'm making my mom give me natural lowlights tonight so that I can grow it out without roots - hopefully, I chose the right color, and hopefully, she does a decent job. I feel as if I'm tempting fate. // posted by Sasha @ 8/06/2006 01:21:00 PM 2 comments
8/04/2006 | Away Will be in Gaithersburg MD and Rockville MD next week on business. Either I will neglect to post entirely, or I will post obsessively because I will be bored in my hotel room. :( // posted by Sasha @ 8/04/2006 10:25:00 AM 0 comments
8/03/2006 | Hey Jealousy I am not the world's most patient person. I think it's because I think that the faster I get my work done, the more time I have to lounge around doing fun stuff (for the record: not true. A 40 hr week is still 40 hrs, no matter how productive I can be). My older brother just bought a house. A nice 3-bdr garaged townhouse with a master suite (walk in closet and huge bathtub), finished basement, cathedral ceiling, etc etc etc.... I'm so jealous! I know I only just started working and saving my (lack of) $$$, but I want a house now! He doesn't even care about things like a walk in closet or nice bathroom. But then again, he is 25 (almost 26, in October) and is just moving out (of living with our parents). Will I really be so hard up for a nice house that I will live with my parents for three more years, like him??? I sure as hell hope not. My mother is a realtor, and convinced me to stay at home to save money for a down payment on a house, instead of throwing it away renting (I also think she is suffering from empty-nest syndrome, as she would go from having 3 kids at home to having none if I moved out). // posted by Sasha @ 8/03/2006 09:38:00 PM 0 comments
8/02/2006 | FUCK OFF I think I HATE work. I'm in a rotational leadership program, and I'm on my first rotation as an applications developer. I HATE HATE HATE it! I don't have a real assignment, just some bullshit busywork that no one cares if I do (they even told me this). I HATE that I am bored out of my mind and it's a stuggle to even do it, and yet I feel guilty if I'm not "working up to my full potential" since I'm in this stupid "prestigious" program. I panned my "assignment" for a day since I don't know VB (!!!!) to teach it to myself, so I've been multitaking - learning VB and socializing with a co-worker(the only other young one!) and my Colorado intern loves from last summer<3 <3 on the corporate IM service. Only 5 months left! If my next rotation is in development I'll fucking DIE. Seriously, I hate my job sometimes, and I just started. I want to do something fun!!! // posted by Sasha @ 8/02/2006 07:23:00 PM 0 comments
8/01/2006 | Somehow, I thought it would be better than this  Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. How do you know when you're an adult? I have trouble taking people seriously who claim to be adults, because let's face it - very few of us college-age people are "adults," aside from meeting age requirements.After 17 years of being a full-time student, I'm cut loose. Everyone is going back to school in the fall. And me? I'm working. Thinking about things like pension plans, which I don't fully understand. Doing things because I'm obligated to, not because I want to. For the next, let's say, 42 years until I retire? As part of my job, I'll be continuing with grad school in the fall. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread, though, to the last 17 years of my life. I'm definitely out of my comfort zone. Who the hell am I?? it pains me to say it, but my dreams now are things like winning the lottery, or marrying a rich guy so that I never am obligated to do things I don't want to again. If only I weren't so damn practical! I'd be a hippy and teach yoga, write, or study unprofitable subjects like french or anthropology. If only I didn't care about money, or have to ability to earn it! :( Why can't my life be like some cheesy romance novel, where the bright spunky heroine proves that women are liberated, gets the rich/goodooking/titled hero, and gets to lounge around being wealthy for the rest of her life and quits the working drudgery even though she is now "empowered" because honestly, working sucks and most people would not want to do it, empowered or not. If I was rich, my goal in life would be to be a stay at home mom! All my education, down the drain!!! Oh well. My life is definitely not like a novel. It's not that interesting and there's no witty dialogue. Welcome to the real world, Sasha :( // posted by Sasha @ 8/01/2006 09:36:00 PM 1 comments
| CS!  I think I'm spending too much time with Anna. Anna is from Queens, and I am starting to talk like her (meaning, I keep saying "effing" all the time). I started to write, but had to erase it because every other word was "effing." I need to eliminate this word from my vocabulary. I already say things like "yo" and "wooter" being from Philly, I don't need to get any worse.I bought a rainbow maker!! I'm such a little dork. Sometimes, I worry that I would wear cowboy hats or cowboy boots if I was originally from Texas. I'd like to think the answer is no, but deep down, I know it would really be yes. :( ha! so today, I think I'll stop talking about Mat and my lack of a life. I'll tell a little story instead: Now, I was a compsci major in college. Statistically, Only about 10% compsci students are women. I have been the only girl in class many, many times. It's weird, to say the least. Before I started college, I never considered "discrimination." I thought it was loooong dead. And maybe the "old-time" outright chauvanism is. But it does happen! See, some of my male peers apparently thought I was a moron. I'm not. I graduated in the top 2% of my class. I had a 3.82 GPA. I'm not the most brilliant person in the world, but I definitely did better than many of my male counterparts. In my major we did a lot of group projects, and several times "the boys" wouldn't discuss things with me, even though I knew more about the project than they did. I think the worst time was in my advanced database group. I was in a group with 3 boys I didn't know. At meetings, I would attempt to talk about the project. One boy would work on it by attempting to reconstruct one of his past projects (which wouldn't fit in with what we were doing). When I tried to help him (ex, "this is the syntax for PHP. that's why you're getting 89 errors) I would be ignored. The others didn't know anything, wouldn't try to do anything, and fooled around. I won't go into everything, but the breaking point was when they were fooling around and started looking at porn. Lady titties. I don't need to see that shit! I had already taken over (in a nice, gentle way) and had divided everything up. They hadn't done their parts, I had reconstructed the project to work, and now I was pissed off. Lesson 1 is that I don't take people's crap (normally). They wouldn't get back on track, I wasn't going to do their work while they jacked off and refused to try, so I fired myself from the group and took my project with me. Did I mention this was one week before the project was due??? <3 I got an A (AND extra credit) and they did poorly, to say the least. // posted by Sasha @ 8/01/2006 12:04:00 AM 0 comments
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 Currently "workin' for the man," getting my Master's, and attempting to lead a happy life. Dating Matteo (going on 4 years)! Trying to figure out my life as I am coming of age and becoming an adult. I like... the unexpected. I like outdoor sports like cycling, hiking, canoeing, and rock climbing. I do yoga. I'm a vegetarian (10+ years). I love computers & webdesign... I'm a web developer at the moment ^_^ I love to read, ask me for recommendations! I'm an "artiste," I love to draw and paint (portraits are my favorite). Like to knit, cook, etc. I love traveling. I'm friendly, I swear! Email: lovesasha_AT_inbox.com AIM: LovePeaceSasha my "official" profile RECENT POSTS
ARCHIVES LAYOUT INFO The picture featured in my layout is drawn by the artist Toko Ohmori. 
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