 7/30/2006 | Or Lack Thereof I made Mat go biking with me yesterday. Acutally, we had fun, even though my left eye started rejecting my (old) contact lens and secreting pus. Gross! One frantic call to the eye doctor later, it turned out that I didn't have an eye infection and my eyes were ok to wear contacts today. I went to the Jersey shore today with Mat, Anna, and Tim. Also had a lot of fun. What is wrong with me??????????? One day I decide I can't stand Mat anymore and I have to break it off. The next? I am having fun and deciding it isn't so bad - that's it almost like it used to be, and I'm crazy for wanting to break up with him. I wish I knew what I wanted. So what do I want?? I want to have someone different than Mat. I want someone who is more assertive, a bit scholarly/career-minded, not so socially awkward. Someone who I think is dead sexy and can't keep my hands off of (has the attraction to Mat waned? yes). But I also want someone who loves me like Mat does, and can be my best friend like Mat. Why does everything have to conflict with each other??????? There are some qualities of his that make me DESPISE him. Others make me love him. I really, really want to cry. I can't figure out if I'm wasting my time, or what will happen. I'm afraid that breaking up with him would be the biggest mistake of my life. It's not exactly like I have so many other prospects! So I'll break up with him and date NOBODY, since I don't know anyone I'd like to go out with. Most of my friends are friends with him, so meeting someone in a social situation with them would be AWKWARD as HELL. But staying with him - would I just come to resent him more and more and make things even worse????? waste more time and destroy our lives when we finally break up? // posted by Sasha @ 7/30/2006 11:39:00 PM 2 comments 
| Vroom Vroom My little brother's car broke down (this time, probably for good), so I have been letting him use my car to get to his internship. He only have a couple weeks left, and my brother and father both work at the same office building as me (though for a different business unit). Well, to make a long story short, they're both asshole and cannot seem to take me to/from work, EVEN THOUGH WE WORK AT THE SAME BUILDING. To make a long story short, they both screwed me on Friday and wouldn't take me to/from work. Is it really my fault that my little brother's car broke down? No. But since I'm apparently the least important person in my household (my older brother: I'm leaving when I feel like it, and going with friends so I can't be bothered to take you. my dad: i'm going on vacation! you dont' need to work 40 hours a week! set a bad example to your new boss!) I end up taking my brother's car to work. It has an electrical problem and randomly stops working. Well, naturally the car broke, but I managed to coast into the parking lot (despite the fact that traffic goes 10 mi/hr, boo). Well, I come out of work in the afternoon and go to check it out, now that I have time. One problem: the key does not fit in the lock! It's the same make/model/color/year as the one I drove into work. The inside is clean, and my brother just cleaned out his car. I am standing there for a few minutes before I glimpse the same exact car parked two spaces away, hiding behind an SUV. His car. Yeah, I tried to get into someone else's car. That is soooooooo typical of me. But at least I laughed at myself and broke my pissy mood for a little while. But why do they have to treat me like shit???? Then, when I get mad about this, I am suddenly a "bitch" for complaining. // posted by Sasha @ 7/30/2006 10:58:00 PM 0 comments
7/28/2006 | The Shame!!!!! Oh yeah, major shame attack. I've been designing websites since I was 11 (11 years ago, so half my life - holy crap, I'm old!) I am skilled with Photoshop, html, php, asp, etc etc etc, yet I am using a premade template! And a (relatively) ugly template! Well, this is the shame of my "secret blog," I guess - no domain name, no real hosting, no coolness. My other blog that my family/friends read is so cool-looking, sigh. I'll have to step it up! Eventually. Anyways. I have plans for the weekend~! I'm forcing Mat to go cycling with me! Ok, maybe forcing is not the word. It's just that he NEVER suggests ANYTHING to do, and he will do whatever I suggest. So, we will cycle along the Schuylkill River bike trail! It's only about 12 miles long in one direction, so it's a pretty easy ride. Mat has, how shall we say, "gained some girth" after graduating from college last year, so he is not in shape. His idea of exercising is to play a round of golf, then eat a large tub of popcorn at the movies. It's not that I really mind about the weight. It's just his constant talk about getting in shape and then no attempt. Stop the preaching already! But I digress.  These jackets from Chic Blesk Krasota are so hot! Too bad there are none for sale even remotely nearby. I live by Philadelphia (and also by one of the largest malls in the world). New York is but a stone's throw away. I'll be in DC for two weeks next month for work. How can there be no stores carrying their merchandise in NYC, but some in North Dakota? There are like 3 people that live in North Dakota :(Yeah, I also forgot to mention that I'm *finally* going to the beach! I'm going on Sunday with Anna, her bf Tim, maybe Mat, and some other people we knew from college (although, we are both admittedly not their biggest fans). You know what this means? Shopping! Ha, I sound so shallow, but I love it. I need to buy a bathing suit tomorrow, and I have an excuse to get a green top I wanted at H&M, but had nowhere to wear it to. Bathing suits at H&M are a joke, they look like bras or are made for the chest size of a 12 year old boy. Actually, finding bathing suit tops sucks! I'm tall, so one-pieces often aren't long enough. Most bikini tops are made for a range of A-B cup. Of course there are more expensive options for those of us who aren't flat-chested, but BY GOD, I have trouble spending $100 on less than a square foot of material. I wonder if Zara sells swimsuits? Another long post? I need to keep it short & sweet! And also find a profile picture that makes me look less billious. It was taken in Paris in the winter (oh Paris, how glamorous you are!). I have so much I want to talk about! // posted by Sasha @ 7/28/2006 10:50:00 PM 0 comments
7/27/2006 | A Little Background... I am someone who is always getting screwed. Figuratively, not literally. If only that were my problem! I'm twenty-two years old. I just graduated college in May, and I live at home. With my parents and brothers. Brother #1 is moving out at the end of the month because he just bought a house, and brother #2 will shortly be going back to college. So, it will really just be me and the parents soon, but I'm going kind of crazy living here. Why don't you just move out, you ask? I want to save my money, so that I can move out into a nice house, rather than a shitty apartment. I'm sure you will hear me complaining about this from time to time, because it sucks, but it doesn't suck more than paying $1200/month for a crappy one bedroom apartment. I moved back home after going to Penn State and getting a degree in Computer Science and I'm a software developer at a big medical company. Hopefully you won't hear me whining about computers, because that would be boring. Also, I should have more of a life than all this whining! I also have a boyfriend, Matteo. He is Italian-American. I have been dating him for almost 4 years, and have just come to the realization that I have wasted the last 4 years of my life. Mat doesn't realize this. I need to break up with him, but I can't! I feel so bad. Also into this equation is the fact that I am a virgin. How did that happen, you ask? Well, Mat is Catholic (naturally) and wants to wait till we're married to have sex. I don't, to say the least. So, I'm not completely innocent, but damn, how did I become a 22 year old virgin? My plan is to break up with Matt soon. Poor, poor Mat, I don't know what to do. Every time I plan to do it, I chicken out. Bawk bawk, that's me, Sasha-chicken. Friends? Ha! Let's see: There is my friend Emily: a great friend, smart, kind of nerdy, creepily close family, but she's going to grad school in Iowa soon. My friend Anna, who I graduated with, just moved down my way from NYC. The only problem? She's in a fantastic relationship with Mat's friend, Tim. They were roommates in college, though they're not close lately. Anna lives about 40 minutes away, and she's also a good friend. From here's it's dubious: I lost contact with a lot of my high-school friends, who I was never totally in love with to begin with. My "bff" from high school is Lizzie. Lizzie lives in the city, has dubious choices in friends sometimes, and can be flaky but we have so much fun together! Except we haven't really hung out in awhile. Guess I should renew this friendship, so I can expand my (non-existant) social life. Dan is a good friend, but he's also Mat's good friend. Madison, a nice, fun girl who hooks up with (aka "is a girlfriend to" despite the fact that she has a boyfriend already). Madison is moving to Michigan this weekend. Yippie yay. I've been working for three weeks so far, and have NO FRIENDS at work! Seriously, everyone in my department telecommutes. No one is my age. There's no one to eat lunch with (but at least I get out a half hour early due to my lack of a lunch break). I went out to happy hour my first week with a girl named Allison (26) who works in my area and some people she knew from the company, but that was two weeks ago, she almost never comes to work, and I have no life!!!!! argh, people...... OK. Now you know something about my conundrum. I HAVE NO LIFE. It's not like I'm trying to be antisocial! I like to party. I'm not unattractive. I'm fun to be around. I'm nice. I'm talkative. Please, dear lord, let it get more exciting soon! Love, Sasha // posted by Sasha @ 7/27/2006 10:11:00 PM 0 comments
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 Currently "workin' for the man," getting my Master's, and attempting to lead a happy life. Dating Matteo (going on 4 years)! Trying to figure out my life as I am coming of age and becoming an adult. I like... the unexpected. I like outdoor sports like cycling, hiking, canoeing, and rock climbing. I do yoga. I'm a vegetarian (10+ years). I love computers & webdesign... I'm a web developer at the moment ^_^ I love to read, ask me for recommendations! I'm an "artiste," I love to draw and paint (portraits are my favorite). Like to knit, cook, etc. I love traveling. I'm friendly, I swear! Email: lovesasha_AT_inbox.com AIM: LovePeaceSasha my "official" profile RECENT POSTS
ARCHIVES LAYOUT INFO The picture featured in my layout is drawn by the artist Toko Ohmori. 
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